?????, Profit

When Slashdot in jokes escape into spam...

Subject: haste yourself
Date: Thu, 29 May 2008 12:52:38 +0200
From: Ava Swain <vcilmeawjjy@bo...rad.com>
To: <s...s@....com>

1. Find a girl
2. Invite her to your appartments
3. Use subject product V (or C)
4. Have fun
5. Take her number
6. Profit?

More details -> http://inc...le.com

Now Contact my secretary ask him for ($950.000.00)

No. *You* contact *my* secretary, and ask *him* for $950,000 - he'll
find it funny.

---------- Forwarded message ----------
From: <jimpeter12@fre...et.de>
Date: Thu, Apr 3, 2008 at 8:02 AM
Subject: Now Contact my secretary ask him for ($950.000.00)
To: jimpeter12@freenet.de

Dear Friend,
I didnot forgot your past effort and attemps to
assist me, now I'm happy to inform you that i have
suceeded in getting those funds transferred under the
cooperation of a new partner from London.
Now Contact my secretary ask him for ($950.000.00)
for your compensation his name is Mr uchennaoku
E-Mail (edu_nwabulebu2008@yahoo.fr)
he will send you the money.and
send him the following information to prove yourself
to him.
YOUR FULL NAME;.........................................

YOUR ADDRESS:............................................

YOUR COUNTRY:................................. ...........

YOUR OCCUPATION:.....................................

YOUR PHONE NUMBER:.............................
YOUR FAITHFUL............................................
jim peters

Please your lassie like never before!

Lassie? You mean the dog? The collie?

No, thank you.

---------- Forwarded message ----------
From: Edward Diamond <Edward@podravka.hr>
Date: Wed, Apr 2, 2008 at 9:04 PM
Subject: Please your lassie like never before!
To: Brandon Montano <pigpogm@gmail.com>

The best way to please your lassie like a real Casanova, is to get
your love gun bigger!
Go on, give it a try - you'll enjoy an amazing growth very soon!

In The Open Society and Its Enemies, Popper argued that human
societiesand they wondered whether the fighting would end in time
toYet for George Soros, philosophy would serve just that purpose. In
Yet for George Soros, philosophy would serve just that purpose. InIn
The Open Society and Its Enemies, Popper argued that human
societiesand they wondered whether the fighting would end in time to

Fwd: Lotto Winner 2008!!

The UK National Lottery, run from a German Yahoo account.

---------- Forwarded message ----------
From: Uk National Lottery <cedm8450@bel...net.ca>
Date: Thu, Mar 13, 2008 at 2:18 AM
Subject: Lotto Winner 2008!!
To: info@lottery.com

You won the sum of £450,000.00 GBP from our monthly Uk
LotteryPromotion,you are hereby adviced to get back to us, to claim
your prize.

Contact Mr.Pinkett Griffin.
Email:informationoffice_claims@yahoo.de
Claims Requirements:

1.full name:
2.Home Address:
3.Age:
4.Sex:
5.Marital Status:
7.Phone Number:
8.Nationality
9.Country Of Residence.

Mrs. Mary Wood.

Fwd: Fire and Ice In Your Pants

In your pants? That sounds uncomfortable. Probably doesn't sit well
with the laws of thermodynamics, either. At least, not for long.

---------- Forwarded message ----------
From: Lorand Lamon <undighet1967@fsc.es>
Date: Thu, Mar 27, 2008 at 8:11 PM
Subject: Fire and Ice In Your Pants
To: pigpogm@gmail.com

Painless way to look great all the time

http://www.co...ns.com/
Stop being a sniper, be RAMBO

[Fwd: Anti Spam 2007 Team Ask You To Read This Message!]

One of the funniest scams I've ever read, I think. People studying at
the "University of Cibernetics", who can't spell cybernetics (or much
else for that matter)? They hate spam, so they're spamming people "all
over the world"? They hate scams, so they're asking people to fund
their new anti-virus product, which I have little doubt doesn't exist?

-------- Original Message --------
Subject: Anti Spam 2007 Team Ask You To Read This Message!
Date: Fri, 6 Jul 2007 18:41:42 +0300
From: Eduardo Cortez<antispam@email-antispam.com>
Reply-To: <antispam2007software@yahoo.es>

Dear Internet User,

You may ask yourself what is this message, and instant you will say
"ITS A SCAM"
its a scam that you recive dayly in your inbox or your bulk ... well we
are happy to tell you that someone thought about this, we know that like
90 % of the internet users hates spaming hates when they see a scam
message, or a letter pretending its from the bank that asks you for your
bank information, and in the second day you see your money is
missing.Let me tell you what this message is about and what can you do
about this people that spams dayly to steal peoples money.

We are a group of young people with ages between 20 and 24 years old
we are studying at university of cibernetics, all 4 of us united our
minds and concentrated on one single thing, the thing that business
people normal people all kind of people that uses the internet hates and
takes away there money and that is SPAM.

If you are new to the internet let me tell you something about the
word SPAM.

The Definition of Spam
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

The word "Spam" as applied to Email means Unsolicited Bulk Email ("UBE").

Unsolicited means that the Recipient has not granted verifiable
permission for the message to be sent. Bulk means that the message is
sent as part of a larger collection of messages, all having
substantively identical content.

The messages you get in ur inbox or bulk can contain letters from bank
letters from people that wants to take away your money without your
knowlidge.

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

We developed an ideea of combateing spam over the internet we are
building a new software that can be installed on your computer and can
detect any potential fraud message like : Fake letters pretending its
from your bank , Scam messages , scam letters etc.
The program will also contain a new type of firewall to protect you
against keyloggers and other bad types of programs that can take your
personal accounts and passwords.

We are located in Spain, Madrid we used our home computers to send
this message all over the world in seach of sponsors that can give us
the financial support to expend this program and improve it, and one day
the program will worth good money and can secure all computers against
fraud.If you hate SPAM AND FRAUD you can make the internet a secure
space of doing business in a secure manor lets fight SPAM AND FRAUD lets
do something good, think positive and help us make the program reach his
hightest level of security.If you are interested we got our email
address you can write us here : antispam2007software@yahoo.es

Eduardo Cortez
2007 Anti Spam Team

Mrs. Sarah Welsh. (Benefactor)

Thanks, Benny Factor. Try not mentioning Nigeria next time - always
makes things sound a bit suspicious.

Must be an absolute bugger for genuine Nigerian businesses, finding that
the rest of the world just assumes they're trying to scam them all the time.

-------- Original Message --------
Subject: Mrs. Sarah Welsh. (Benefactor)
Date: Wed, 28 Mar 2007 03:55:36 -0500
From: Mrs Sarah Welsh <sarah@welshfamily.biz>
Reply-To: welshsarah08@yahoo.dk
To: michael

I am Mrs. Sarah Welsh, an English woman who is suffering from cancerous
ailment. I am married to Sir Jim Welsh who also is an Englishman though
dead now. My husband worked with the Nigerian Railways for over two
decade before the cold hand of death took him away on the 23rd of July
2003 at about 2:00AM. Our marriage lasted for over a decade without any
fruit of the womb. My husband died after a protracted illness. My
husband and I made a vow to uplift the down-trodden and the
less-privileged individuals within the United Kingdom, Europe, North and
South America,
Africa and the rest of the globe as he had passion for persons who can
not help themselves due to physical disability or financial predicament.
I can adduce this to the fact that he needed a Child from this
relationship, which never came. When my late husband was alive he
deposited the sum of 10 Million (Ten Million Great Britain Pounds
Sterling with an offshore Bank in Nigeria.Presently, this money is still
with the Bank.

Recently, my Doctor told me that I have a limited or numbered days on
earth and that my life span will not exceed 150days due to the cancerous
problems I am suffering from. Though what bothers me most is the stroke
that I have in addition to the cancer. With this hard reality that has
befallen my family, and me I have decided to donate this fund to a
non-governmental, or a non religious, and or a non profit organization
or better still an individual,that will utilize this money the way I am
going to instruct here in. I want a non governmental, or a non
religious, and or a non profit organization or better still an
individual, that
will use this gift which comes from my husbands sweat to fund the upkeep
of widows, widowers, orphans, destitute, the down-trodden, physically
challenged children, barren-women and persons who prove to be genuinely
handicapped financially.

It is often said that blessed is the hand that giveth.I took this
decision because I do not have any child that will inherit this money
and my husband relatives are bourgeois and very wealthy persons and I do
not want my husband Jim Welsh hard earned money to be misused or
invested into ill perceived ventures. I do not want a situation where
this money will be used in an ungodly manner, hence the reason for
taking this bold decision. I am not afraid of death hence I know where I
am going.
I know that I am going to be with the Almighty when I eventually pass
on. The Almighty will fight my case and I shall hold my peace. I do not
need any telephone communication in this regard due to my deteriorating
health and because of the presence of my husband relatives around me. I
do not want them to know about this development. With God all things
are possible.

As soon as I receive your reply I shall give you the contact of the bank
in Nigeria. I will also issue you a Letter of Authority that will
empower you as the original beneficiary of this fund. My happiness is
that I lived a life worthy of emulation. Please always be prayerful all
through your life. Any delay in your reply will give me
room in sourcing for a non-governmental, or a non religious, and or a
non profit organization or better still an individual for this same
purpose.

Please assure me that you will act just as I have stated herein. Hope to
hear from you soon and God bless you and members of your family.

Mrs. Sarah Welsh. (Benefactor)

NOTICE

I noticed. Thanks.

-------- Original Message --------
Subject: NOTICE
Date: Wed, 28 Mar 2007 14.48.10 +0200
From: National Credit Union Administration<service@ncua.gov>
Reply-To: <do-not-reply@ncua.gov>

Dear Customer,

*CONGRATULATIONS !!!*

We are very satisfied about the *Reward Survey* results and we've made
improvements to *Credit Union's Online* web page. To make all the
customers happy we will credit every account that uses every day our
online banking service with $50.

Helping us better understand how our customers feel, benefits everyone.
With the information collected we can decide to direct a number of
changes to improve and expand our online services.
We kindly ask you to spare two minutes of your time in taking part with
this unique offer! This offer expires in 24h after you recieve this
message.

To Continue click on the link below:

https://www.ncua.gov/signup/sso_signup_filter.jsp?LOB=RBGSurvey
<http://adresse3.ecritel.net:443/www.ncua.gov/survey/>

© 2007 National Credit Union Administration (NCUA) . All Rights
Reserved. Privacy Policy & Disclosures.

[Fwd: Happy New Year my dear (From: George)]

Please choose from the following list of smart-ass remarks:

- email me 20 years ago when I might have cared.
- Not so much a spam, more a careless whisper
- He might have more success if he wrote it on a men's room wall
- 26? He's definitely had too much whacky tobbaccy *this* time
- Surely Andrew Ridgely should have a cut of that 12mil?
- Wake me up before you spam-spam

feel free to add more remarks in the comments.

-------- Original Message --------
Subject: Happy New Year my dear (From: George)
Date: Wed, 10 Jan 2007 14:37:25 +0100
From: George Michael <george_michael@pobox.sk>
Reply-To: George Michael <george_33mich@yahoo.fr>

Happy New Year my dear,

I know that you will be surprise reading from unknown person but all I
will like you to understand is that, God have already bless you and your
entire family in this 2007 through this proposal. In a brief
introduction, my name is George Michael, 26 years old. My intention of
contacting you is to help me handle the investment of 12.6 million usd
that I inherited from my late father, which he deposited in the bank
before his sudden death. Urgently confirm your willingness to help me
handle the investment of this money with honesty, without betraying my
trust in you.

I will be waiting for your reply as you finish reading this message with
your direct telephone number to enable me call you immediately and
furnish you with more details, upon my confirmation of your willingness
to assist me.

Best Regards,
George Michael

SOLICITING FOR A REPRESENTATIVE(JOB OFFER)

Wan Tan? Mmmm.... crispy wan tans...

Oh, that's put me in the mood for a chinese takeaway. Wan tans, crispy
fried spammer, and maybe some egg fried rice? Yum.

-------- Original Message --------
Subject: SOLICITING FOR A REPRESENTATIVE(JOB OFFER)
Date: Wed, 27 Dec 2006 11:15:30 +0000
From: wan tan <wantajiaabiqxo@yahoo.com.hk>

Jiangsu Tianyin Chemical Industry Co., Ltd.

Room 06-08, Floor 12B,
Lijin Asia Enterprises Center,
No. 17 Wunjing Road, Shanghai, China.
www.chinatianyin.com

UNITED KINGDOM OFFICE:
FLOOR 3&4, NEWTON HOUSE,
132, NEW BOND STREET,
LONDON, W1S2UD.
ENGLAND.

SOLICITING FOR REPRESENTATIVE IN YOUR COUNTRY.
I represent the above named Company based in China. My company
manufacture, supply and export Pharmaceutics, Agricultural, Textile and
Chemical Egineering Products for world trade.
We are searching for representatives who can help us establish a medium
of getting to our customers in Europe and America as well as making
payments through them as payment officers. In our just concluded Annual
General Meeting (AGM) I as Regional Manager of this multinational
company have been directed to relate with you because of the
communication problem faced by most of our Board Members, since many of
them cannot read, speak or write English Language except Chinnese which
is our official Language.
In view of this you are expected to relate directly with me as the
company representative since I have been mandated to contact you and
give them frequent update about our activities.
Most of our customers pay out in cash, cheques,money orders,wire
transfer and we do not have an account in U.S.A And Canada presently
that will clear this money. It is upon this note that we seek your
assistance to stand in as our representative in your country.
Also, as our representative, you will receive 10% of whatever amount you
clear for the company and the balance will be paid to the company's
account officer.
Therefore, if you are interested in becoming our representative complete
the application form below and send via email or fax:
NAME:...................................................
.........................................
COMPANYNAME:..............
................................................................
ADDRESS:....................................................................
...................
CITY:...........................................
.................................................
STATE:.?... .............................
ZIPCODE............................. ......
COUNTRY:..................................................
.....................................
TEL:.......................... ......
FAX:...........................?.........................
EMAIL
ADDRESS:.................................................................
.............
WEBSITE:..................................................
.......................................
OCCUPATION:
......................?......................................... .........
MARITAL STATUS:
.......................................................................
DATE OF BIRTH:
....................................................................... ..
SIGNATURE(TYPE IN YOUR NAMES):
..................................................
DATE:............
...?............................................................ .........
Please reply through the email address below and use for futher
correspondence with us.

Very Respectfully,
Mr. Wan Tan J
Regional Manager,
European Region.
Tel.+44-703186-0173
E-mail: wantajia@yahoo.com.hk

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